So my company just moved to a new office on the 16th floor of a building downtown. Yesterday morning I got on the elevator and pressed the button for my floor. A middle-aged man followed me in and pressed the button for 11. The doors closed. He then pressed the buttons for 15, 16, and 17. In quick succession. And got off at 11.

By New York standards, this kind of compulsive behavior is fairly banal. In a city of 8 million people, 5 million suffer from some kind of mental affliction, and the rest are just dicks. So rather than get worked up about it, I played a silent game of "OCD or Asshole?," called it a draw, and went on with my day.

Then this morning my coworker came in with the exact same story - except in this case the culprit was a woman. Which begs the question, what the divil is happening here? Is this some kind of code to a secret portal? A hazing ritual for new tenants? An obsessive compulsive therapy group that meets at Penguin Group headquarters? The mystery haunts me. This is almost as intriguing as when I decided the other members of my department are in a coven of vampires. (A string of mysterious "layoffs" + the fact that the directors are named Archibald, Alice and Eleanor? This is some Twilight shit up in here).

In other news, I just LOLed at the Marriage Ref like three separate times. This may be the beginning of the end.


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