Enrique: Mairead, you are such a nice human being. Customer like you, are a pleasure! I loved every bit assisting you.
Oh God, not again. I taught a robot how to feel.
We all know how this old story goes. Boy Robot meets Girl online, Girl is courteous to Boy Robot, lights a spark in Boy Robot's wires. Next Boy Robot uses his super-computer brain to track Girl down and professes his love, which Girl rejects because Girl doesn't believe that robots have hearts (or penises). Boy Robot feels pain for the first time, short-circuits, goes on murderous rampage, etc. Once he's killed all Girl's friends and family he comes for her at the fancy high-tech computer lab where she works. But the Chief of Police is on the case, and it's personal because years ago his kid got strangled by an mad scientist's robot at a Smithsonian exhibit, and he's wanted justice ever since. Boy Robot backs Girl into a server room, advances towards her with his hands shooting laser beams and knives. "Not so fast, R2Dick2!" yells the Chief (he's an excellent chief of police but he was never very good at puns). He throws acid on Boy Robot, who starts smoking and beeping and slumps to the floor. As he dies, Girl sees love in the Boy Robot's eyes and wipes an empathetic tear. She walks away hand-in-hand with the Chief of Police, because the experience has bonded them and now they are in real human love.
Spare me the melodrama, okay Enrique? I just want a goddamn credit line increase.
Spare me the melodrama, okay Enrique? I just want a goddamn credit line increase.
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